The Tragedy of Mother Theresa
In her lifetime Mother Theresa attained iconic status as a handmaiden of God. Tragically, her public image and her inner reality were far from resonant. The recent publication of "Mother Theresa: Come Be My Light," a compendium of her letters, reveals the inner desolation and torment she lived with for the last fifty years of her life. How could one so dedicated to doing God's work be so desolate and so miserable for so long?
I believe the answer to that question lies in fundamental beliefs about God and human relations with God that Mother Teresa embraced as a Catholic. The notion that "God is separate from myself" is fundamental to Catholicism (and most variants of Christianity as well as the other Western religions) despite the fact that Jesus taught "the kingdom of heaven is within." Where else might one find God than in His/Her kingdom- within myself? There is also the extremely destructive emphasis in Catholicism on "myself as a sinner," hopeless, helpless and eternally damned without the intervention of God who lies outside myself.
We create our own reality with the mind, and our beliefs are primary drivers in that creative process. If I believe that God is separate from myself, then I will look outside myself to find Him/Her, especially if I also believe that I myself am an unworthy sinner. But since the reality is that I am already One with that unified wholeness that we call God, there is nothing to be found outside that wholeness. Therefore if I look outside myself for God I will find nothing, because the reality is that there is nothing outside myself to find. Religious demagogues and their misguided acolytes have been misleading seekers for centuries into rejecting themselves as unworthy sinners and looking outside themselves for salvation.
Mother Theresa reported the reality of her experience...honestly, and tragically. Her belief system, reinforced by her spiritual advisers, prevented her from seeking fulfillment outside the limitations of that belief system. This led her to persevere, heroically but futilely, in a spiritual dry hole. If she had had a framework that would have allowed her to re-characterize her experience she may have been able to find her salvation within herself, where it was patiently waiting for her.
Labels: God, Mother Theresa, religion

